Wednesday, 30 November 2016

Crying at work

This is a link to an excellent feature on Radio 4, in which a subject is discussed, which is very close to my heart.  I do have personal experience of crying at work, most notably a couple of extremely upsetting incidents, whilst I was having an emotional breakdown, at my last paid, full-time job, at the Intervention Board in Reading.  For now, I shall simply post the relevant link, although I don't rule out discussing the subject further, at a future date.  I hope that the link does work, and also realise that it may not remain active indefinitely.  I just really want to post this in multiple places.  I don't hear the topic addressed as often as it should be, and it would help so much, in so many ways, if it was.

Saturday, 25 June 2016

Visible mental health awareness

Not all mental illnesses are invisible.  Not all physical health issues are visible, either. 

I believe that we need to spread awareness about mental health issues, but most of the campaigns out there are selective.  They ignore the “not so pretty” aspects of mental illness, and this is unacceptable.  It does not lead to true awareness, and can actually lead to increased ignorance and discrimination.  It can do more harm than good. 

Handwashing in OCD can cause visible damage, which in some cases is long-term, and even permanent. 

Many forms of self-harm, ranging from cutting and other related forms of self-injury, to eating disorders, leave visible scars and effects, which may be permanent, to varying degrees. 

More understanding and compassion in society, and less shunning, would help. 

Thursday, 23 July 2015

Moving forward

I have reached a point of crisis in my life, and I need to decide how to move forward. I feel that, if this blog is to be a project with which I continue, I need a new direction, and a much more positive, and probably less personal, focus. I actually decided this some time ago, but all that has really happened so far - is that I no longer post. However, this may not always be the case. This is not yet officially an "abandoned blog". I am not able to offer more than this at present.

Peace and blessings. xxx

Sunday, 26 April 2015

Depression: a message of hope

If you are in a dark place with your depression - even feeling suicidal - please know that it does get better. Realistically, it also gets worse again. It is a cycle. Just hold on. You are not alone, even if it feels that way.

I have been, and am, going through my own dark times. That is why I haven't been posting much on here. Also, I don't feel that it helps me, or anyone else, if I only ever use this blog to rant at length - and I am not even up to doing this at the moment.

Keep going as much as you possibly can, and recognise your own achievements, however small. Try not to be hard on yourself for not achieving more.

Sending love to anyone out there who is struggling right now, and reads this post. Please take care. There is hope. I believe in you.

Friday, 6 February 2015

Quietly suffering

I believe that the mental health services, and those who provide these services, need to recognise that it is not only extreme behaviour that needs to be recognised, but also extreme emotions.  Those who implode and self-destruct will always tend to be ignored, and are often misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all.  It is wrong, and can potentially cost lives.

I also believe that they should help more with social issues, such as housing problems, and not go into "not my department" mode so readily.

The fact that mental and physical health are so closely connected, is also not recognised as much as it should be.  You cannot treat one, but ignore the other.  It simply does not work. 

Not much else to say at present, but felt the need to say something.  Peace and blessings to all who read this post. 

Saturday, 8 November 2014

The long-term effects of OCD - and why I'm not blogging much any more

I haven't been adding to this blog much lately, but that isn't really a problem. I don't want to spend my whole life discussing chronic illness. It is emotionally exhausting, and I am also working on different writing projects.

I just felt the need to do a quick update. I am still struggling with IBS, skin rashes, PCOS, endometriosis, etc. My migraines and headaches don't seem to be as bad these days. I obviously do have the dyspraxia and other issues, but I am so used to living with these issues now. My mental health is up and down, but I am really trying to stay positive and I feel that I am making progress, although with frequent setbacks, and much ongoing stress.

The one thing that I have been thinking about, and which I wanted to mention, was how self-conscious I feel about the long-term damage and ageing which the OCD seems to have caused to my hands, which were one of the few physical features that I actually liked about myself originally. The weird thing is that, when the rashes on my hands clear up, as they have at the moment, I actually become more aware of, and distressed about, the long-term damage, which I have caused myself through the OCD. Even now, I can't stop doing the over-washing, and in a way, unless I feel that there is some hope of making my hands look "okay" again, it is difficult to believe that there is any point now. I am just so aware that I have messed up my own hands, when there was no need, and I am continuing to make it worse, but I can't stop. By the way, the rashes on my hands are the only ones caused by over-washing. My other rashes are due to two different forms of dermatitis, and are something different.

Love and peace, and thank you for reading this blog post. Please read my poems on my Facebook page. I am not directing people to my Tripod site at present, as the number of irritating video advertisements that they place on my page make the site dysfunctional, but I cannot afford to pay for site hosting, which is why I use free websites and blogs.

Monday, 25 August 2014


Is being diagnosed with "Borderline Personality traits" and "PTSD-like symptoms" enough to entitle you to support for trauma-related mental health issues, if these are actually your main mental health problems, along with depression? Why is it that it still doesn't feel as though I have been properly diagnosed with anything in this area?

And why is my OCD not "OCD-like symptoms"? There are so many aspects of OCD that simply aren't relevant to me.

It's so confusing. Why is it made so ridiculously hard to get the help that you need?