Anyway, basically I have been trying, for some time, to persuade the mental health professionals to review my diagnosis.
I had been under the impression that this was going to happen, and that I was going to be assessed for Borderline Personality Disorder, but this did not occur.
The appointment with my psychiatrist and Community Psychiatric Nurse did take place, but we barely touched on the subject of BPD, and only then because I mentioned it, as they appeared to have no intention of doing so.
They were more interested in discussing my OCD, as per usual, and trying to "push" medication at me.
One pill suggested would make me gain weight - been there with that particular side-effect - and the other would cause diarrhoea, which is also not helpful, when you suffer, as I do, from IBS. However, I do give more details about this appointment in my previous post, so I won't ramble about it too much here.
As mentioned in my previous post, I did put my concerns into writing.
When I eventually managed to get through to my CPN by telephone, she was extremely unhelpful, and gave me to understand that I was diagnosed with nothing more than depression, anxiety, OCD and "PTSD-like symptoms".
She said that she was "not prepared to discuss the diagnosis further", but did tell me that the psychiatrist would write to me and enclose a copy of the letter which had been sent to my GP.
I did specifically ask her whether my agoraphobia diagnosis had also been removed, and she told me that I did not have agoraphobia because "you do go out".
I currently go out on as many days as I can, although I remain very close to my flat. However, I don't feel that it's necessarily helpful to take away someone's agoraphobia diagnosis the moment that the person is just about able to leave his or her home.
I will probably write another blog post about my agoraphobia, or agoraphobic tendencies, as I feel that this subject needs more "space", in order for me to discuss it fully. I must admit that it is a little complicated, as my not going out much relates to my physical, as well as mental, health.
I did actually have two telephone conversations with the nurse, on the same afternoon, and the second felt more positive and constructive than the first, but I still did not entirely know what to expect from the letters which the psychiatrist would be sending. I could only wait.
Well, the letters arrived and, to be honest, it was not as bad as I had thought, or would have expected based upon what I had been told by my CPN, particularly during that first conversation.
The psychiatrist seemed to have understood most of the points made during our interview, although there were still a few misconceptions, about which I know that I should write another letter, just to make matters a little clearer. I have lacked the motivation, so far, to do this, although I know that it is in my own best interests to do so.
My official diagnosis now is recurrent depressive disorder, anxiety, OCD, Borderline Personality traits, and Post Traumatic symptoms, with panic attacks and depersonalisation.
Although this does not cover everything, it is an improvement, and at least I have it in black and white, so that a week, year or decade later, they cannot change the words around and deny that the original ones were ever said at all, as has so often happened in the past.
I would recommend that anyone who has queries about his or her mental health diagnosis, or any aspect of treatment, should put these concerns into writing. That way, your letter has to be both answered at the time, and added to your medical files for future reference.
Thank you for reading this post. Please also check out my poetry site or/and my Facebook poetry page.
